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Riflessioni e Testi by VendemiaireWings




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September 24, 2011
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...walked away... by grind-the-rust ...walked away... by grind-the-rust
This was done slightly less than a year ago. I'd been re-reading the last poem sent to me by a former friend of many years ago whom I had hurt beyond all belief without intending to. That same old absentee ...
Sense of loss and culpability kept me awake for several nights, during one of which this paisley brain-hemmorage happened....

here is the poem - and it is the angerless farewell of it that slaps me across the face every time I read it, the resignation in it.

Look back at photographs,
Cannot touch your face now,
Stretching out, back to that void I called home,
Spirit seek, back to the streets.
Reminds me of times when it wasn't quite so bad.
Palm trees crossed over shade,
smoke swimming to our tunes,
palms crossed for the sacred moment,
begging back at the moon.
Something lost in the sea of rust,
Something stolen from this world.
Everything, the worlds I stole,
Gave away more than I bargained for.
All moving flesh, Losing my ways.
Moving too fast, hardening...
Giving myself away.
The world, moving too fast,
Brickwork hardening again.
All such heartwork cashed away,
concrete glowing, golden haze...
Sewer side, A world of games.
Where I hid my spirits for better days.
Cashed in, losses cut now...
Little nothing, did I ever know...
And would I realize, ever now.
Silence taught me everything through you.
Prayers before your childhood toys,
Can't play that back to me,
A beauty in the alchemy.
Lost in the formula,
Sinking back into the floor.
Silent vessel, welcome home,
The bedroom floor waiting for me,
The tomb where you married the sea.
Following your grey lines,
across time,
across time.
And is that all that you know now?
All moving flesh, losing my ways,
Out of control, I know why,
Why you gave yourself away.
A crueler Nature than you knew,
I know the measures of that curse.
The nature left inside those words.
Dead dreams, left cold again.
Sacred lines drawn in the veins.
The silent vows, coming to me.
leading right back to the sea.
Leading right back to the streets,
I can't know what I want to see.
A better world than chasing dreams?
Right back, so far into your fears.
God animal, child begs for release,
Begging then, that I know peace.
Falling back into the dream.
And all the walls fall in on me.
Speak The mourning, dressed in blues,
Waving goodnights to the moon.
Waving farewells to the moon.




...
All my life I will be saying goodbye. I doubt I'll ever finish.

Yeah, I know the anatomy's fucked, the lighting makes no sense, her elbow is wonky in the extreme, and the whole piece is ugly and made uglier by the scanner eating the colours away but cest la vie.

say what you will, if you have anything to say. I like conversations.
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:iconcr2o3:
Cr2O3 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2012
you do such incredibly awesome stuph!!!!!!
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:icontheriona:
Theriona Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011
I love the effect you've gotten on this image. The writing/water, the wet wash in the background, all of it comes together harmoniously.
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:icongrind-the-rust:
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011   General Artist
thankyou... I guess it made sense to turn the words into water, the ocean was an image that popped up in our conversations a lot...I'm glad you think the picture works - but I would still be much happier with it if that elbow didn't look like it was melting...
Reply
:iconstuartreading:
stuartreading Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2011
wow, an image of anguish emerging from a pool of text; it's a powerful piece - I really admire it!
Reply
:icongrind-the-rust:
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2011   General Artist
thankyou...truth be told, considering my state of mind at the time, I'm surprised this didn't turn out as an incoherent mess of lines.
Reply
:iconmercy4you2live0:
Mercy4You2Live0 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
And i suppose this is all just as fresh when i comes back into your mind,im sorry for you,ive lost people,people that i loved and now wont speak to me,it very painful,cause i know i deserve part of it,and i dont get to choose the punishment,bare these things that bring yu down,not with self-pity,but with embrace knowing change is what we are,and people are ment to realize things when they realize them.Its all part of destiny.
Reply
:icongrind-the-rust:
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011   General Artist
*smiles* life has its lessons. I can't really picture it being any different now - for all my nostalgia and regret, things still are as they are, and I am what I am because of that.
Thank you for the thoughtful comment.
Reply
:iconmercy4you2live0:
Mercy4You2Live0 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Me too,slightly numb,but tightly grasping what little feelings i got left,your not alone just know that,nobody is.What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
Reply
:iconspuggy-sparrow:
Spuggy-Sparrow Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
Pity. I can never get around to commenting on Tz related things because I've always spent myself wearing down the kitchen floor throwing about the three of us in my head...
Reply
:icongrind-the-rust:
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011   General Artist
which three of whom? you, me and tz?
Reply
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