"Sorrows of Young Werther" is a very meaningful topic to me. This is not because of the fact that every pupil in Austria gets tortured with Goethe’s literature during his school career (well, it depends on how one experiences that, the Austrian school-system isn’t a good motivator at all). Goethe is some kind of flagship for the German-speaking literature. In fact the poor hermeneutics done in school isn’t capable of pervading the magnificent stylistic shell of Goethes book in order to display Werthers inner world.

“When passion surges from the soul’s abyss
And throws his heart from crest to foaming crest”

This passage does emphasise the agitated state of his mind in a very accurate way.
And by the way, the storm, the sea, the clouds and the trimaster are all very good shaped metaphors in this case although I must confess that neither Baudelaire nor Chatterton is known to me and it seems that you’ve drawn much inspiration from them.
But you described Chattertons life as much as it is relevant for comprehending the poem.
It seems that he had have a very interesting live and I like your idea of interweaving his case with that of Werther and your suggestion that both are some kind of example standing for more of their kind, ( “We, the young Werthers and the Chattertons” ) concerned with the same matters and being constantly endangered by self-extinction. (For that was, what Werther did with aiming his whole longing at Charlotte)
I think this poem is a very successful piece of work. I like the Idea of combining the metaphors with the case of Werther and the way how it depicts an answer to the raging conflict in the minds of these Chattertons and Werthers …
I like the image of the dissipating clouds you gave…

I ‘m really into the first verse. It is a great start. “Remain a man, and do not follow me” is placed on the right spot.

Concerning the meter or rhythm, it is quite difficult for me to comprehend the rhythm of a lyrical work that is not written in my mother-tongue. Actually, it is sometimes even quite hard for me, to follow the rhymes of German poems. In addition, there is the fact that especially lyrical works do often use idioms and some words do have very sublime connotations in poems. So I hope that I am able to meet the requirements of your poem.

I have to think about this poem several times. Maybe I will be able to phrase more specific statements…

Best regards

You already know my thoughts on this one. I've always admired your poetry, but this latest really speaks to me.

Even if we'd never met, if I'd had a book of poems like this, the bad times I've been through in the past would have been a lot easier.

The fact that you can offer hope without sounding naive or preachy makes you one of a very rare breed these days. I'm looking forward to reading more.

I am going to be singing this. Mark my words.

As for constructive critisicm? I... can truthly say that I have none. The title fits well with my own mind and the concluding verse, when said to oneself appropriately, contains a rich and yet simple, clear element. Like the storm is abating - which achieves what the poem is on about so very well. Believe me when I say that.

--
End this dream, I can bear no more,
Set me free again, let my spirit soar!
Reverse what has come and return me to the start,
or let me sink deeper into your pale, melancholy heart."

Not my usual taste. You know me, I like my punch and knockout, can't take the punk out of the guy . I can tell you think, my grandfather liked it. So that's the best compliment I can give. My grandfather liked it, and he really only likes two things. That's Amore by Dean Martin and beer.

whoa...you showed my prattle to your Pop?
*laughs* i remember what happened the last time he met me....
(where'd you pick this broad up from?...heh..)

I can see why it might not resonate with you - while i wrote it in one breathless sitting, it doesn't quite have the raw, spontaineous feel of some of my other stuff. There's less personal symbols, less ambiguity...

thanks for takin' the time to read it, though.

I read it, and I knew my grandfather would like it. It reminded me of his old stories, and some "cultured items" I've found him to own. He loves that classical type style. Why he has a dislike for what I do *Laughs*. Although he compliments my electro music over my guitar playing, weird. Anyways, yes.

The sentences are too long for me. I can appreciate the writing, it just takes me a little to analyse and read and take in. Even my writings end up too long for me to ever read again to be honest...So yeah . See you tonight!!!

Absolutely beautiful. Very inspirational to read first thing in the morning as someone who has had difficulties in love and is moving far away to start a new life.

--
~Lupus "I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror"

*smiles* if i were the blushing sort, i'd blush...
I'm flattered that you found this piece inspirational.
I guess we all need a reminder sometimes, that every sea has shores and every storm an end...
thanks for your comment...

Thank you for sharing

--
~Lupus "I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror"